By: Robyn Sarette, CFO
Sisterhood is often celebrated through the moments we share: late-night conversations, milestone celebrations, chapter events, traditions, laughter and the memories that last long after our college years are over. But some of the most meaningful parts of sisterhood happen in the moments that aren’t quite as easy.
When a sister is struggling. When life feels overwhelming. When she doesn’t feel like herself. When she needs someone to simply ask, “How are you really doing?”
Mental health is an important part of our overall well-being, and the relationships we build with other women can play a powerful role in supporting it. Research examining the mental health of sorority women has found that sorority members report greater feelings of belonging, companionship and connection than their unaffiliated peers. The same research also highlights an important opportunity: sorority women can continue building their mental health literacy and becoming better equipped to recognize when a sister may need support. That’s where sisterhood comes in.
Sisterhood Means Showing Up
Being a good sister doesn’t mean having all the answers. It doesn’t mean knowing exactly what to say when someone is struggling. And it certainly doesn’t mean trying to become someone’s therapist. Sometimes, being a good sister simply means noticing. It’s sending the text when someone has been quiet. It’s inviting her to grab coffee when she seems overwhelmed. It’s listening without immediately trying to fix the problem. It’s reminding her that asking for help isn’t a weakness. Strong female friendships can provide an important source of emotional support. Research highlighted by Kappa Delta notes that women often turn toward connection and support during stressful experiences—and that those relationships can help us feel more grounded and supported. In a sisterhood, those small acts of connection can make a big difference.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
But supporting our sisters starts with taking care of ourselves. Sorority life can sometimes create pressure to be everything at once: a successful student, leader, friend, volunteer, employee, daughter, sister and member of the chapter. For alumnae, those expectations don’t necessarily disappear. They simply change. It’s easy to encourage a sister to practice self-care while forgetting to extend that same compassion to ourselves.
Try asking yourself: Would I speak to my sister the way I speak to myself?
If the answer is no, that’s an opportunity to practice a little more self-compassion. Taking a break doesn’t make you less committed. Setting a boundary doesn’t make you less supportive. Asking for help doesn’t make you less capable. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, and your sisterhood, is recognize when you need support, too.
Check In, Don’t Check Up
Mental health conversations don’t have to be complicated. You don’t need the perfect words. Start with something simple:
“I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How are you doing?”
“I’m here if you want to talk.”
“Do you want me to listen, or do you want help figuring out what to do next?”
And then listen. If a sister shares that she’s struggling, resist the urge to minimize what she’s experiencing or immediately compare it to your own experiences. You don’t have to understand exactly what she’s going through to let her know that she doesn’t have to go through it alone.
And remember: supporting a sister does not mean carrying her struggles for her. Encourage professional help when it’s needed and help connect her with appropriate resources. Sorority sisters can be an important part of someone’s support system, but we aren’t expected to be mental-health professionals.
Build a Sisterhood Where It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
A strong sisterhood isn’t one where everyone always looks happy, successful and put together. It’s one where women can be honest. It’s a sisterhood where asking for help isn’t embarrassing. Where taking a mental health day isn’t viewed as laziness. Where vulnerability is met with compassion instead of judgment. Where we celebrate each other’s accomplishments while also making space for the difficult seasons of life.
Mental wellness doesn’t have to be a once-a-year conversation. It can become part of the culture we create together. So this October, take a moment to check in—not just with yourself, but with the women around you. Send the text. Make the phone call. Invite someone to coffee. Ask the question. And listen.
Remind your sisters that they don’t have to have everything figured out to belong. Because sisterhood isn’t only about being there for the celebrations. It’s about being there for each other, especially when life gets hard.
